The couple practices using their new, more secure bond and improved connection to solve everyday problems. This new way of connecting builds a secure attachment through cycles of care and understanding built on the needs of the other. Each partner vulnerably shares his/her emotional needs and fears. The couple creates new emotional experiences. The couple recognizes how their negative responses to each other drive a self-reinforcing cycle of conflict. There are three stages of Emotionally Focused Therapy: Couples therapy can only be successful if both members of the team are willing to make changes to some aspect of their behavior, empathically making space for their partner’s needs. EFT typically takes between 8-20 sessions with a licensed therapist, but the length of time spent in therapy and the success of the process depends on each partner’s willingness to be vulnerable, learn new skills, be on the same team, and feel empathy for the other. This process is proven to change the emotional responses each member of the marriage has toward the other.ĮFT focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between the couple rather than changing thoughts and behaviors. Sue Johnson, clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author, EFT works to recognize and change unproductive or unhealthy patterns of interaction during conflict. EFT- Emotionally Focused TherapyĮmotionally Focused Therapy is an attachment-based therapy approach based on bonding research and the ways we interact with each other in patterns and cycles. Your therapist will decide which method will be most beneficial for your relationship based on your communication styles, willingness to be vulnerable with each other, and the nature of your interactions. Both methods are well-regarded and successful ways to bring peace and understanding back into a relationship. There are two primary approaches to couples therapy: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method. With 44% of couples participating in couples therapy before they even get married, and a success rate of up to 75%, increased attention has been given to understanding the different methods used. Contributing to this change are new studies being done on the science of love, a continued demand for help finding happiness in relationships (isn’t that what we all want in life after all?), and the de-stigmatization of mental health services in general. Previously criticized for being ineffective and largely considered theoretical, couples therapy is now going through a bit of a revolution. In particular, millennial couples view couples therapy as regular maintenance to keep their relationship strong, rather than a last-ditch effort to save it. Research is showing that more and more couples are opting into couples therapy – and not because their marriages are more fragile now than before.
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